I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize