Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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