clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize