i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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