Whod you bang
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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