its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we made out on top of his cat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
