Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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