But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
