Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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