My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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