I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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