Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
