dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
