So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
