kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
