I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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