Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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