She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
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