just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
