Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
