and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize