i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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