It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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