just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
