worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
