she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
