I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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