I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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