Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
