I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
