Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize