Swine flu is the new snow day.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
