He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
