guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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