My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
