it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
