well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
