I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize