physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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