Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
