I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
birth control should be required to get into college
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
