I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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