They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize