Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
