you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
