My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
