I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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