Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
