I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
