All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
