It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
