If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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