yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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