We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize