am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
