don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Alive.
So much puke
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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