I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
