Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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