You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
