I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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