I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
