im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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