Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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