just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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