i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
