Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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