I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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