Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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