He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
