I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
