im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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