I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
