fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
