I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
