You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
