My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
